Few days in the ward went smooth. I had started reading "Tao Che Ching" - Lao Zhu philosophy.
Amazingly simple poems. Thoughts that are very consistent with those of Gita or Rajneesh or Sri Sri, or Aurovindo. But the most unique thing I noticed here is, the Master in this literature is referred as "she".
The same routine went till 5th day post OPs. The only thing I had was a great sense of recovery and abundance of time in hand. It was difficult to read any book for long, because of the hanging tube from the nose, obstructing the vision.
TV programming in the hospital was pathetic. Sleep was not coming easy. So, basically music, small talks with wife during the day. Passive participation in my gang of classmates from Kharagpur camping in the room and talking about everything around us.
When it was looking like a smooth road to recovery, couple of things came back to rock the psyche again.
The 45 lymph nodes that went for Biopsy, 3 of them came back with touch of tumor cells. There was no indication of that in MRI scan. Which means, it was about to spread. And which also means, surgery was just the first phase. Not the first and last.
The second one which rattled my confidence was the new found bug in the surgery, that surfaced once I started having liquid food through the nose tube.
In an otherwise perfect surgery, it seems, doctors had left a live salivary gland, inside the newly formed pocket between the cheek and the planted flap.
And once the gland started smelling the food my attendants were eating, and thought of food, started pumping out saliva that fills the pocket and stretches it. All of a sudden, the satisfaction of 95% symmetry is all gone.
Left cheek becomes as swollen as a tennis ball, hard and extremely painful. The entire focus shifted to the face.
Realized, the post op was not supposed to be so easy after all where the biggest problem I have is "abundance of time". It started being much worse than that.
Abundant time in pain !!
Amazingly simple poems. Thoughts that are very consistent with those of Gita or Rajneesh or Sri Sri, or Aurovindo. But the most unique thing I noticed here is, the Master in this literature is referred as "she".
The same routine went till 5th day post OPs. The only thing I had was a great sense of recovery and abundance of time in hand. It was difficult to read any book for long, because of the hanging tube from the nose, obstructing the vision.
TV programming in the hospital was pathetic. Sleep was not coming easy. So, basically music, small talks with wife during the day. Passive participation in my gang of classmates from Kharagpur camping in the room and talking about everything around us.
When it was looking like a smooth road to recovery, couple of things came back to rock the psyche again.
The 45 lymph nodes that went for Biopsy, 3 of them came back with touch of tumor cells. There was no indication of that in MRI scan. Which means, it was about to spread. And which also means, surgery was just the first phase. Not the first and last.
The second one which rattled my confidence was the new found bug in the surgery, that surfaced once I started having liquid food through the nose tube.
In an otherwise perfect surgery, it seems, doctors had left a live salivary gland, inside the newly formed pocket between the cheek and the planted flap.
And once the gland started smelling the food my attendants were eating, and thought of food, started pumping out saliva that fills the pocket and stretches it. All of a sudden, the satisfaction of 95% symmetry is all gone.
Left cheek becomes as swollen as a tennis ball, hard and extremely painful. The entire focus shifted to the face.
Realized, the post op was not supposed to be so easy after all where the biggest problem I have is "abundance of time". It started being much worse than that.
Abundant time in pain !!
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